Friday, April 2, 2010

Sizemore or less

Hello Readers. You may have noticed that updates on my Adventures in the Land of Literary Rejection are few and far between these days. Unfortunately, this is due to the fact that there is little, if anything, to report. True, my querying has quieted down since I posted my List of Shame (click here if you missed it) but I haven't given up completely. I've tossed a couple of pitches and partials out into the world, but eerily silent my inbox remains. Sigh. I'm starting to miss being killed softly by those Friday e-mails:

1. Thank you so much for your query. Unfortunately, this project doesn’t sound right for me. I encourage you to continue to submit elsewhere, and I wish you every success in your writing career. Thanks again for thinking of me.

2. Thanks for writing. This has an interesting premise and nice verve, but I’m afraid I didn’t connect with the voice strongly enough to fall in love. I’m sure others will see it differently, though, so I’ll stand aside with all best wishes for your finding the right match elsewhere.

3. Thank you for sending us your manuscript. Unfortunately, it's just not right for us at this time. I thought that Avery was a very interesting character and her humour and humility gave ________ some levity through the darker areas of the plot. I would also like to commend you on tackling religious conversion. I do not know of very many humourous and intelligent takes on the subject. Overall, the book is interesting and has a lot of potential. We wish you all the best in placing your manuscript elsewhere.

I remember opening these e-mails like it was yesterday. I actually covered my screen with my hand when I read them so I couldn't scan ahead OR (depending on my blood-The Ring levels) so the words couldn't reach through the monitor and strangle me. Sometimes I think I should build myself one of those crude solar eclipse viewing boxes for the task; as if staring directly at the rejections will in fact make me go blind. Sigh #2. I can think of better ways.

But all is not lost! Right now I have manuscripts with an agent in New York and a small press in Toronto. And, because I must be some sort of masochist, I have a spec script sitting on some Hollywood agent's iPhone. (I'm pretty sure I'm his 117th priority so I'm pretty psyched, as you can imagine.) Now I just need something to help pass the time. *thumb twiddle thumb twiddle* Something that isn't Celebrity Rehab.

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