Sunday, June 27, 2010

Query formatting for zombies, and other G20 news

Obama is in town for the G20 and the welcome party is in full swing! Now, as you may have heard, some news reporters are getting all in a huff about the so-called "vandalism" and "anarchy" and "violence" that got mixed in with the legitimate protests. Puh-leese. These reporters -- they just don't get us. This is how Canadians celebrate financial sector reform and the free market economy -- with cop car burning, window smashing and baby seal clubbing. We're just cool like that, CNN. Take a chill pill. Geesh.

Anyhoo, I'm all tuckered out from a gorgeous day spent throwing mailboxes all over Queen Street West, so I thought I'd update you on the pilot. It's easier on the wrists.

The L.A. TV agent called me two weeks ago and the news was neutral. It was a courtesy call of sorts to tell me that he had not had the time to read my pilot. I was fine with this since "not read yet" is so much better than "Read it. Hated it. Go away." He said he'd read it on the weekend -- as in two weekends ago -- but still no news. Whoever called it a "game" is a jerk because waiting is no fun at all.

In between all this, I've been wondering if I should get back on the novel wagon. It's tempting but I'm not sure if I should. It's an ego thing, obviously. I'm enjoying taking a break from trying -- I'm finally starting to feel sane and self confident enough to walk into a book store without throwing sticks of Starbucks VIA Ready Brew at the new releases wall. I had moved on. I was SO over it. Until a few weeks ago.

Suddenly, out of the blue, scores of e-mail responses from long, long, long ago queried agents started showing up in my inbox. Some were at least six months old! Dead! Buried! Suppressed under layers of vacation memories, the excitement of a new job, and a terrifying house hunt. But here they were again -- stinking up my Yahoo like a zombie with an AOL account. Rejection from beyond the grave is quite a slap, you know. Much more cold and hard and foul smelling than the standard version.

So for now, everything is as it has been for a very, very long time. I'll let you know if anything changes. In the meantime, here's a great tip for formatting e-mail queries that I wish I knew about a year ago. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go celebrate the new international banking reform regulations (!!) by taking hostages at a Pickle Barrel.

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