Tuesday, February 8, 2011

I've been Duffed.

I don't know how I didn't hear about this before but Hilary Duff has a novel out and I was so inspired by her prosey brilliance (see below) that I had to come up with a new word just to express how I feel:

Duffed adj 1 slang to have been beaten by a nearly illiterate celebrity in the race for a fiction deal. (What? Bristol Palin got a fiction deal? Holy f%$&. Look's like I've been Duffed again.) 2 f%$&ed

Here are some samples from Hilary's novel Elixir published by Simon & Schuster:

“His mane of dark, tousled hair, chiseled cheekbones, and thick eyebrows were stunning, but some inward pain twisted his eyes and mouth away from beauty and toward something more difficult and profound.”

“His eyes drew me in, and what I saw there was raw and scarred…but it didn’t lie.”

“I saw an eternity of love in his eyes.”

“[H]e looked like a man who’d wrestled with life and won.”

“I felt devastated inside, like the silent aftermath of a massive hurricane.”

“It had been that way from the day we met—like he could see every place my heart was cracked and would pull open the wounds, inspect them, dig out every bit of infection, then fill them with his love until they healed.”

Every time a celebrity (Franco, Snooki, Paris Hilton's dog) gets a fiction deal, I will take it personally. And you should, too! Writers Without Publicists or Sex Tapes (WWPST) unite! Let's start the WWPST revolution on Twitter today -- before Kim Kardashian gets signed by Hamish Hamilton! #WWPST


  1. Okay. This is a new thing. I'm totally incorporating "I've been duffed" into my rotating list of complaints.

  2. Woo hoo! Welcome to the WWPST movement, Alana! Now please tell all your friends! (I told you, so I'm pretty much tapped out.)

  3. these crazies. someone needs to remind them who owns the throne.

  4. Damn skippy, Paul. Now get Tweeting #WWPST! Cause these days there ain't no revolution that starts without the Twitter.

  5. I'm totally using the "duffed" thing from now on. I'm also going to use the analogy "like the silent aftermath of a massive hurricane" for EVERYTHING. You're about to get duffed, Duff.

  6. Whoa, Matt! You just DOUBLE Duffed! My mind = blown.