Friday, July 22, 2011

America's Next Top Auth-hole

No one gets in without being asked. And with her untamable hair, large forehead, and gawky body, Tookie De La Crème isn’t expecting an invitation. Modelland—the exclusive, mysterious place on top of the mountain—never dares to make an appearance in her dreams. But someone has plans for Tookie. Before she can blink her mismatched eyes, Tookie finds herself in the very place every girl in the world obsesses about. And three unlikely girls have joined her. Only seven extraordinary young women become Intoxibellas each year. Famous. Worshipped. Magical. What happens to those who don’t make it? Well, no one really speaks of that. Some things are better left unsaid. Thrown into a world where she doesn’t seem to belong, Tookie glimpses a future that could be hers—if she survives the beastly Catwalk Corridor and terrifying Thigh-High Boot Camp. Or could it? Dark rumors like silken threads swirl around the question of why Tookie and her new friends were selected . . . and the shadows around Modelland hide sinister secrets. Are you ready? Modelland is waiting for you. . . .

What you have just read is the official "Product Description" copy as found on for Tyra Banks' first novel Modelland. That's right, a novel. By Tyra Banks. And get this: she's decided to rip off Harry Potter, apparently... only with MODELS.

Looks like we've been Duffed again, my fellow fiction writers. Lizzie McGuire? Snooki? And now Tyra? We must come together to put an end to this madness! We must Tweet it, people! And Tweet it loud! Writers Without Publicists or Sex Tapes unite against celebrity-written crap fiction! #WWPST


  1. Auth-hole, lol. Love it.

    I guess I oughta get myself famous so I can get a book published, instead of, you know, the other way around...

  2. Exactly, Elly. And to think: you've been wasting all this time honing your skills as a writer when you should have gone on The Hills or something. Tsk tsk.

  3. I can actually hear Tyra narrating that description, all while batting her eyes and faux-smiling at whoever is writing her batshit-crazy ramblings down. I predict that she'll have some terribly inappropriate stuff in there, and when she's called out on it, she'll shame the people that called her out for publicizing filth, explaining that she was just trying to make a point.

    Bitch be crazy.

    I'm so going to read this.

  4. Can I borrow it when you're done, Matt? Err, I mean, I don't want to borrow it when you're done.