Friday, July 15, 2011

Too bad. She was hott.

Thanks in great part to the encouragement of cool strangers I've met through the Internet, I'm working on the novel again. I've decided to start by cutting some non-essential scenes. You know, the kind that don't move the story forward but were just fun to write? In fact, I'm getting rid of a character altogether. Her name was Lily. She was a hard-drinking, upstanding member of society and I'll miss her. Here's one of the Lily bits that's getting the axe:

Lily was on fire that night. She was at least 65 but she worked the drunks like a 19-year-old, flirting and winking and raking in tips. She wasn’t much for flare, but she made up for it with perfect pours and a hairdo so teased you could see right through it. Her breasts were so low and heavy that they buffed the bar. They took up half her body, those massive tits. It was the first miracle that she could stand up straight and the second if you could look her in the eye. She was the original fertility goddess, Lily, proof that the Mayans could time travel. When she emerged from behind the bar to take our orders, her ass so equally gigantic, I was finally able to understand the physics of Lily. Yin and yang, ass and tits. The universe was all about balance.

Sorry, Lily. It was nice to know you.

3 comments:

  1. I think I know Lily. She works at a dive bar in Hampden, Baltimore.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Woo hoo! Hampden! I know where I'm going for spring break 2012.

    ReplyDelete
  3. http://picasaweb.google.com/boknil/Singles#5496744937324967410

    (BTW, your excerpt was really nice. Great voice! I can get that kind of voice in my short work, but still having trouble at the novel length...)

    ReplyDelete