Wednesday, October 5, 2016

Midland and mysteries

As part of Beyoncé's Formation World Tour, I'll be in Midland on Thursday, October 13 at 7:00 p.m. Jowita Bydlowska (Drunk MomGuy), Jamie Tennant (The Captain of Kinnoull Hill) and I will be reading and maybe talking too? I'm not really sure. But it'll be something to do on a Thursday night! Come out! Tickets and info can be found here.

In other news, there was an embarrassing incident at the Eaton Centre Chapters/Indigo on Monday. I went in to casually position my novel onto more prominent shelves and roll around in the ten copies the Internet said were in stock... only to find that they weren't really. In the confusion, I:

A) Lied to three staff members about why I was there ("lots people are asking me where they can buy my novel and I work around here, so you guys will have, like, guaranteed sales...")
B) Smelled like The Olive Garden (raw garlic in my lunch) whilst lying
C) Sweated like a whore in church because of the lying and our unseasonably warm fall weather for which I was overdressed

After twenty minutes of searching, a very helpful assistant manager named Dave told me the books were MIA! But that he was on the case! So not to worry! Which of course led me to worry, which of course led me to Photoshop, and to this mess on Twitter....

(Click on this one.)

Great news! Dave made good! The box of ten books was finally found! So Eaton Centre shoplifters can now enjoy the fruits of my labours! And my Twitter idiocy has come to an abrupt end!


  1. If I understood social media better, I'd want to find a way to make #2 Found go viral!